Sometimes I have the time and patience to get from an idea to a fully fleshed-out, penciled, inked and coloured comic.
Sometimes I don’t.
I needed to respond to this…
So, I have a few things that are a part of my everyday “routine.” One of these things is to read Dear Abby. I used to read it when it was still in my local newspaper, but they’ve since stopped running it, so my DA fix comes from a visit to DearAbby.com at 1:00am every day (as that is when that day’s column is put up).
The following was published today, and cheesed me off so greatly that I am writing this post about it:
“DEAR ABBY: Because many women have stopped wearing pantyhose or stockings when they go out on a dinner date or formal function, would it be a fair turnaround for me to put on a three-piece suit and tie and not wear any socks? I’d appreciate your thoughts, please. — SOCKLESS IN MICHIGAN”
Okay, jackass. The lovely Pauline Phillips might not have picked up on the snarky undertone to your query, but I sure as hell did. Your disapproval and disdain of women “defying” the so-called social convention of wearing pantyhose or stockings is damn near palpable. It’s obvious you look down on these women and are trying to subtly control their choices by making your own sartorial suggestion appear as “outrageous” as theirs.
But let me tell you something, mister. I don’t wear pantyhose. The only type of stockings I can handle on my legs are fishnets, and even that is a recent development. My whole life, I have found the sensation of anything confining on my legs to be unbearable.
I remember ballet class. Oh, yes—even an ungraceful ostrich like me was attempting pliés and grand pliés with the rest of ‘em. Despite my best efforts, however, I never could get accustomed to wearing those pink tights. Classes, recitals, all required them, and try as I might, it was too much to bear. I wound up qutting ballet because I couldn’t wear the tights.
Nails on a chalkboard. Sandpaper on your palm. That’s what pantyhose feel like to me. I’ve brushed against my mother’s leg when she’s had on pantyhose, only to recoil in pain. The texture is overwhelmingly unpleasant, and leaves what feels like barbed wire curling in the pit of my stomach.
As I said above, I have finally been able to wear fishnets over the last few years, which you would have thought impossible if you knew me when I was younger. But the thing you need to know, Sir Snarkypants, is that I wear them for me, NOT for men. I wear them because I want to wear them, or because I like how they look with whatever outfit I have on.
I couldn’t give a crap if society commands me Yoda-style, “Wear pantyhose, you must!” But, you know…maybe you can convince me. Yes, Mr. Sockless…if you’re willing to put on a pair of pantyhose when it’s 90 degrees outside (plus humidity) and stand in the blazing, midday sun, also while wearing a pair of high heels and a black dress—as more women than you will ever know biblically have done—THEN perhaps I might think about wearing an item of clothing that causes me such intense physical and emotional discomfort.
…But you’re not going to, so I hope your sockless feet end up in a wading pool full of piranhas instead.
Dear Misogynistic Jerks of the World:
STOP:
- Pretending to have a deep understanding of women’s sexuality when all you really want to do is control it.
- Denigrating feminism for giving women the ability to take command of their own sexualities instead of relying solely on men for validation.
- Using the word “slut” to refer to any woman who steps of your own conception of the “appropriate” sexual/gender roles for women.
- Threatening women with assault and/or rape because of your own perceived lack of power over women who refuse to “stay in their place.”
- Acting like you have firsthand knowledge of the inner workings of women’s bodies and that this gives you the right to control women’s reproductive options.
- Shaming women by calling us “sluts” or “prudes” solely because our sexual choices don’t involve choosing to have sex with you.
- Perpetuating the attitudes of rape culture that result in more women being subjected to unwanted sexual advances, underreporting rapes for fear of retaliation or disbelief, and generally having a lower quality of life due to stress and anxiety.
START:
-Keeping your mouths shut and listening to what women have to say
- Working with women to learn how to foster an environment of equality, safety, and understanding.
- Respecting women’s “safe spaces” and the forums we have built to express ourselves.
- Getting in line for those mandatory vasectomies if you expect women to get in line for mandatory ultrasounds.
- Realizing that a woman’s worth lies in what is between her ears, not what is between her legs.
- Examining the role of popular culture and how it influences you and your choices to “act like a man” and treat women a certain way.
- Thinking about what you can do to stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution.
LET WOMEN’S VOICES BE HEARD: NOTHING ABOUT US WITHOUT US.
END MISOGYNY/SEXISM TODAY!
Dear Misogynistic Jerks of the World:
STOP:
- Pretending to have a deep understanding of women’s sexuality when all you really want to do is control it.
- Denigrating feminism for giving women the ability to take command of their own sexualities instead of relying solely on men for validation.
- Using the word “slut” to refer to any woman who steps of your own conception of the “appropriate” sexual/gender roles for women.
- Threatening women with assault and/or rape because of your own perceived lack of power over women who refuse to “stay in their place.”
- Acting like you have firsthand knowledge of the inner workings of women’s bodies and that this gives you the right to control women’s reproductive options.
- Shaming women by calling us “sluts” or “prudes” solely because our sexual choices don’t involve choosing to have sex with you.
- Perpetuating the attitudes of rape culture that result in more women being subjected to unwanted sexual advances, underreporting rapes for fear of retaliation or disbelief, and generally having a lower quality of life due to stress and anxiety.
START:
-Keeping your mouths shut and listening to what women have to say
- Working with women to learn how to foster an environment of equality, safety, and understanding.
- Respecting women’s “safe spaces” and the forums we have built to express ourselves.
- Getting in line for those mandatory vasectomies if you expect women to get in line for mandatory ultrasounds.
- Realizing that a woman’s worth lies in what is between her ears, not what is between her legs.
- Examining the role of popular culture and how it influences you and your choices to “act like a man” and treat women a certain way.
- Thinking about what you can do to stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution.
LET WOMEN’S VOICES BE HEARD: NOTHING ABOUT US WITHOUT US.
END MISOGYNY/SEXISM TODAY!
Whenever I see evangelical Christians or other shameless sexists saying things like, “In the Bible, God made men and women 100% equal. They just have different roles to play,” I seriously want to punch things.
HAVE WE NOT LEARNED BY NOW THAT “SEPARATE BUT EQUAL” IS NOT, IN ANY WAY, IN ANY SHAPE, IN ANY FORM, EQUAL???
Stop degrading the act of sex by calling it ‘opening your legs.’
I’m so sick of women being degraded all the time. Because women just, you know, lay back and ‘spread their legs’ and let men do whatever they want. They don’t take any active role in the actual sex act or enjoy it. They are just objects that lay there with their legs open. Then they are stupid because through poor judgement or mishap, they became pregnant. The man is never blamed or shamed or degraded for having sex. There are no phrases used to degrade the act of a man participating in a sexual act, at least not a heterosexual one.
I swear if I could punch people in the face for saying ‘they shouldn’t have spread their legs’ I would. I don’t even care if they are someone in my family or my friends. That is how fucking pissed I get when people say hateful shit like that about women.
No issue is black and white. Women have abortions for many reasons. Shit happens. The fetus ends up being deformed and would not live; the woman just ended a previously stable relationship; the woman or couple has children already and cannot afford any more at the moment; The couple may have used birth control but it failed; the woman just found out she has a serious illness and will not be able to carry a pregnancy to term; the woman was raped, etc.
So fuck you and your hatred of women. Negativity about sex is disgusting and harmful.
“
| — | (via sometimeinthemorning) |
